''Fresher Chris'' Thompson

Course & Year:
I am taking a Gaph Yaar

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
Oldest 'ur mum' joke was found on a Babylonian text which was 3,500 years old

Claim to Fame:
Getting YEET & UR MUM banned on Scotland 2k19.

Kayak of Choice:
You need a boat for this sport???

Last Swam:
As part of one of my many technicals.

Favourite Paddling Place:
Mellte.

Would love to paddle:
Le Gnar.

Liver destroyer of choice:
⅔ of a bottle of Famous Grouse is enough to hospitalise.

Joe Petersen

Course & Year:
3rd Year Maths.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
Giraffes have the same number of vertebrae in their necks as a human (7).

Claim to Fame:
I'm Joe Petersen.

Boat of Choice:
L1.

Position of choice:
On top.

Last swam:
In March? On the Avon.

Liver destroyer of choice:
It's gotta be Purple.

Sebastian Lamb-Camarena

Course & Year:
4th Year Physics.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.

Claim to Fame:
I eddied out half way down pinball on the Allt A'Chaorrainn

Kayak of Choice:
Big Sharqxiom (Axiom 8.0).

Last Swam:
Half way down BUCS cus it was my first time in a whopper :’(

Favourite Paddling Place:
Scooooooootland!

Would love to paddle:
UK rivers with actual water in them.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Anything that’s not gin.

Lara Hogan

Course & Year:
Um...

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
Porcupines float on water!

Claim to Fame:
I was the creator of one of the biggest Harry Potter fan pages on Facebook.

Kayak of Choice:
B2M (Sorry Owen!).

Last Swam:
In the New Sports Hub.

Favourite Paddling Place:
CIWW in the summertime.

Would love to paddle:
The Allt a' Chaorainn.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Paracetamol.

Claudia Perry

Course & Year:
3rd Year Maths.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
Cows don’t have upper front teeth.

Claim to Fame:
I’ve met Taylor Swift!! (and her mum!!).

Boat of Choice:
M4.

Position of choice:
Like to mix it up a bit.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Gin gin gin gin gin gin gin gin.

Rowan Preston

Course & Year:
3rd Year Maths & Physics.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
Butterflies have been known to drink blood to obtain minerals they can’t get from nectar.

Claim to Fame:
Only hospital visit during Scotland 2019.

Kayak of Choice:
Wavesport Mobius.

Last Swam:
The biggest hole at Dulsie's Bridge.

Favourite Paddling Place:
Upper Dart.

Would love to paddle:
Everything in Glen Etive.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Dat spicy H20 (as long as it doesn’t come from the Tees).

Jonathan Greenwood

Course & Year:
3rd Year Mechanical Engineering.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
The world record for the most kayaks to raft up is 1902. 'Cos rafting up on whitewater is a great idea!

Claim to Fame:
I've turned to the dark side… Canoe polo.

Boat of Choice:
Pyranha Z.One.

Position of choice:
Everywhere.

Last swam:
Cardiff Whitewater Centre, 'cos BanterX is a thing :'(

Liver destroyer of choice:
Cider.

Alwin Hughes

Course & Year:
3rd Year Maths & Stats.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
Have you ever heard of the tragedy of Darth Plageuis the Wise?

Claim to Fame:
It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you.

Kayak of Choice:
A slicey boi.

Last Swam:
Cardiff IWW.

Favourite Paddling Place:
River Garry, Scotland.

Would love to paddle:
Glen Etive.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Club strength Eliminator. #RipScotland.

Oliver Cole

Course & Year:
1st Year Computer Science.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
It is illegal to own more than 90 pigeons in Regina, California. Also, no more than 50 of them are allowed to be older than 1 month old.

Claim to Fame:
I met Jonathon Ross.

Boat of Choice:
L.

Position of choice:
Not in goal.

Last swam:
Tyne Tour.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Vodka Coke.

''Coach Dan'' Porter

Course & Year:
4th Year Mechanical Engineering.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
I co-parent two plants, called Bob and Vagene.

Claim to Fame:
I come from the same town as Lewis Hamilton.

Kayak of Choice:
Molly, my pink Rockstar.

Last Swam:
Euthanasia on the Upper Dart.

Favourite Paddling Place:
The Upper Dart.

Would love to paddle:
The Alps.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Vodka.

Lara Hogan

Course & Year:
This will be my 4th year at the University...

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
Porcupines are very hard to keep in zoos since they will eat through most materials, including concrete!

Claim to Fame:
Some of my latte art has over 1000 views on Google Maps.

Boat of Choice:
Old No Number, not sure what that is in the relabelled ones...

Position of choice:
Upright.

Last swam:
Failing to roll.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Gin.

''Beta'' Matt Glover

Course & Year:
4th Year Engineering.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
Lemons are a hybrid between a sour orange and a citron.

Claim to Fame:
Can melt everything.

Kayak of Choice:
Burgnardette.

Last Swam:
Shredding mad gnar.

Favourite Paddling Place:
The gnar.

Would love to paddle:
Mellte.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Corona #glutenfree.

Dan Porter

Course & Year:
4th Year Mechanical Engineering.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
I co-parent two plants, called Vagene and Bob.

Claim to Fame:
I am shorter than Lewis Hamilton.

Boat of Choice:
The one I am told to use.

Position of choice:
They all do the job.

Last swam:
Rescuing a fresher…

Liver destroyer of choice:
Dark Cider.

Owen Kelly

Course & Year:
2nd Year Computer Science.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
The ratio of sheep to people in Wales is 3:1.

Claim to Fame:
I can perfectly pronounce ''Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch''.

Kayak of Choice:
Burnie Senders (B2M).

Last Swam:
After falling down a drop upside down on the Garry.

Favourite Paddling Place:
Scotland (Preferably whilst going down drops upright).

Would love to paddle:
Without losing/destroying my GoPro (RIP Owen’s Faux-Pro 2019-2019).

Liver destroyer of choice:
What’s on special?

Cameron McKenzie

Course & Year:
2nd Year Mechanical Engineering.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
While hunting, stoats go crazy jumping, spinning, and twisting to get a rabbits attention. This hypnotizes the rabbit until the stoat gets close enough to attack.

Claim to Fame:
Lightsaber dabber.

Kayak of Choice:
Any slicey boi.

Last Swam:
Upper Findhorn :’(

Favourite Paddling Place:
Upright on some sweet Gnar.

Would love to paddle:
More waterfalls.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Any Ale.

Jack Adams

Course & Year:
3rd Year Systems Engineering.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
Fish don’t (technically) have tongues. Most fish have a bony structure called the basihyal on the floor of the mouth that superficially resembles a tongue.
But it doesn’t have taste buds, isn’t muscular and has very little range of motion, so it isn’t directly equivalent.

Claim to Fame:
I rescued a sheep on my first trip with the Club, to some people’s delight, and others’ annoyance (in equal measure).

Kayak of Choice:
The Club’s Yellow Eskimo Kendo, obviously (Scotland memories).

Last Swam:
Intentionally on WWSR (Unintentionally on Cardiff International Whitewater Centre).

Favourite Paddling Place:
Etive, Scotland.

Would love to paddle:
Up a waterfall, like a salmon.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Any Scottish Single-Malt Whisky on offer.

Grady Beckett

Course & Year:
3rd Year Physics.

(Almost) Interesting Fact:
Male flatworms fight with their penii. The one that loses gets stabbed and impregnated, turning into a female in the process.

Claim to Fame:
There is a wall in a school in Uganda that I've painted my name on. They will never know who I am, just that I exist.

Kayak of Choice:
If it fits, I sits.

Last Swam:
In my defence, you can walk on the bottom at Cardiff.

Favourite Paddling Place:
So far? Scotland!

Would love to paddle:
Upright.

Liver destroyer of choice:
Very much depends on context.